Welcome back Wolf 359 friends and fans to another installment of Wolf 359 Daily! We’re here on Mission Day 525 to talk about Episode 8: “Box 953”!
I hope you all are having a wonderful Halloween because it’s time to dive into the Hephaestus’s spooky storeroom! This episode sees Officer Eiffel once again avoiding responsibilities by hiding out there and opening up a mystery that would plague Wolf 359 fans for years. And it all begins with the compulsory quarterly talent show.
As we are approaching a year and a half on the Hephaestus, this would probably be the fifth or sixth quarterly talent show the crew has endured. And it’s certainly not the first that Eiffel and Hilbert have done their best to get out of, given Minkowski’s litany of reminders. For an event that’s supposed to boost crew morale, it seems that no one is enjoying it — not even Minkowski, who’s the one person who wants it to happen. Though Minkowski is generally a stalwart rule-follower, Eiffel notes that she seems particularly passionate about this mandated event. As we’ll learn in season 3’s “Need to Know”, Minkowski is, deep down inside, a theater kid. She had applied to (and was rejected by) the Tisch School of the Arts musical theater writing program. But as any theater kid knows, you never really stop being a theater kid, and Minkowski is certainly no exception.
Eiffel and Hilbert, on the other hand, seem... less artistically inclined. While Eiffel takes cover in the creepy cargo bay, Hilbert opts for direct action. That’s right friends, it has been 0 days since the Hephaestus crew has attempted to solve their problems by sedating a fellow crewmember. Of course, Hilbert’s plan doesn’t quite go off. Instead of knocking Minkowski out, she just ends up a bit drunk and determined to put on a production of Pirates of Penzance. Minkowski’s drunken performance of “I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General” is a truly iconic moment of season 1. In their Patreon AMA session from February 2018, Gabriel and Zach discussed the recording of this scene. Apparently, to get the appropriate level of slurred drunkenness, Emma did a take without looking at the lyrics. And man, that song has so many lyrics.
Anyway, by the end of the day, I think Hilbert learned some valuable lessons about what can happen when you try to drug up the woman with military authority to shoot you.
But now, on to the big question: What’s in box 953? We don’t get an answer here, and Wolf 359 fans were left to stew with it for nearly three years, until the release of special episode “Change of Mind.” There we see box 953 also reserved for the mission’s communications officer, Sam Lambert, and contained an AI unit used for a... team building exercise. At least, by Goddard’s description. And, quick reminder that this is not a spoiler-free production, we’re about to talk about some big stuff from the end of season 3, pause now or forever hold your peace! Some people perhaps missed that explanation of what’s in the box or were otherwise unconvinced by it. After all, the events of “Change of Mind” are really a memory sequence being seen by Lovelace as her alien-clone brain repaired itself from a fatal gunshot wound. The complete accuracy of events is somewhat open to questions, I suppose. Even if it was another AI unit, was it another iteration of Eris? Or something else?
Well, if you still have questions as to the contents of box 953, I have it on good authority that it’s Gabriel Urbina’s very favorite subject. Feel free to hit him up at @GabrielUrbinaTM on Twitter, or drop him an email about it at contact@gabrielurbina.com. Tell him Rina sent you! You’re welcome, Gabriel!
Anyway, I do find it ironic that in the scene where Lovelace’s crew goes to look at box 953, Selberg advises Lovelace that “letting matters proceed to conclusion” would be more efficient than arguing with Lambert about it, when really he and Eiffel could’ve used that advice when it came to the talent show. I mean, if they’d just gone and got it over with, it’d have been what, half an hour maybe? Instead, it turned into a 5-hour ordeal with risks to life, limb, and station integrity.
Before we go, let’s take a quick look at the contents of the boxes we did get to see: we have the eyeless Russian dolls, children’s letters to Santa, three sets of armor, 1,346 red L-shaped Lego bricks, part of an “unnamed megafauna” skull, the shrunken heads of Paul Harding, MD and Associates, Dr. Victoire Fourier’s diaries mixed in with some farmer’s almanacs, and the episode’s Checkhov’s gun—or rather Minkowski’s cannon. After all, if you introduce a cannon to the spaceship at the start of the episode, it must be fired by the end, or something like that.
And while the name “Victoire Fourier” may not have meant much on the first listen, let me tell you, the way I gasped when I re-listened to this after I’d caught up with the start of season 3. Absolutely wild that we had that name drop back here in episode 8, and that the casual dropping of a name can be so hurtful. Ugh.
Alright, I hope you have a lovely Halloween, dear listeners. But if you’re not ready for spooky season to be over just yet, we have good news: Dracula: The Danse Macabre premiers next month! Check out their linktree for where to follow for more updates, but the series premier is less than two weeks away on November 13.
As for our schedule, we’ll be back again in just a few days with “The Empty Man Cometh” on November 5!
Today’s rejected Pryce & Carter tip:
Among friends, there is no need of justice or regulation. That's why the monthly talent shows are mandatory.
Wolf 359 Daily is written and recorded by Rina Cerame.
Wolf 359 is a product of Kinda Evil Genius Productions. For more information about the show, visit their website at wolf359.fm
We hope you’ll join us again on November 5 for Episode 9: “The Empty Man Cometh.” Thanks for listening!
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