Welcome back Wolf 359 friends and fans to another installment of Wolf 359 Daily! Today is December 22, and while this episode doesn’t have a defined mission day, my birthday gift to myself is getting to talk about Wolf 359 Episode 11: “Am I Alone Now?”
“Am I Alone Now?” is such a special episode for several reasons. First and most obviously, it’s a form-breaker for the show. Up until now, every episode has been framed as Eiffel’s audio logs, but this episode gives us vignettes with each of the crew members on their own. “Am I Alone Now?” also features a bespoke soundtrack. While much of Wolf 359’s original score is made up of themes which reappear throughout the series, “Suite for Am I Alone Now” was composed specifically and only for this episode. Between these factors, this is certainly a very distinct episode in the Wolf 359 canon.
So, let’s take a look at each of these little asides as the crew of the Hephaestus face concepts of being alone, in one way or another. First up is Dr. Alexander Hilbert. Hilbert’s monologue raises several mysteries that would tease Wolf 359 fans for a long time to come. The big one is the hidden door. “Open in case of emergency. Open only when you are alone.” The question of what’s behind the door is tantalizing enough, but there’s also questions of why it’s there and what the label means. In talking about the door, Hilbert also provides some interesting revelations. He says that the door wasn’t there “last time,” or in “any of the other missions.” We now know Hilbert has been on previous missions, and from the sound of it several, to the Hephaestus specifically. Which really should have made it even more odd that he, as a science officer and the type of person to both notice this hidden door and feel certain it was never there before, had apparently never seen the “Extreme Danger Bug” lab. But I confess, on my first listen I was too enamored of the mystery door itself to think very much about Hilbert’s job history.
I mean, you know how much this fandom loves a box left unopened. At least this door will have its day, but not until mission day 1010 with episode 38: “Happy Endings.”
This monologue is also just a really great moment to have with Hilbert. While we don’t yet know the extent of the act he’s putting on (beyond the reveal of his secret disease trial on Eiffel in “Cigarette Candy”), it’s so interesting to have this moment with him on his own. It’s quiet and introspective in a way that we haven’t been able to see Hilbert yet. It gives us a minute to sit with his character outside of how he is with the crew, usually dealing with some emergency or another. And while each of the characters are dealing with being alone in some way, Dr. Hilbert is the one who insists he likes it that way (though most of his monologue is about fearing being alone so... take that how you will). Most of all, I think it’s important to have this quiet, serious moment with Hilbert before what’s about to happen on Christmas...
The next monologue comes from Hera, and I think may be one of the best loved pieces among Hera fans. It’s a beautiful look into her internal life (okay, she’s not alive in the biological sense, don’t bother me with technicalities). So much of what we see of Hera in the early episodes is her function: monitoring conditions within and outside the station, managing systems, routing power, relaying messages. We do know that she feels, but for the most part she seems to try to keep a lid on it—noted exception of “The Sound and the Fury” aside—or else her programming does. She tells Eiffel how she is programmed to be “friendly and pleasant,” but this episode gives us a moment with her in her own mind, allowed to be frank in a way she often isn’t when speaking with the crew. One of my favorite aspects to this is that Hera’s voice isn’t filtered and glitchy the way it normally is in the series.
Hera’s section is probably my personal favorite of the episode. There’s just such a keen loneliness to her existence in the station that just gets to me. Her entire experience is so other to the rest of the crew as its sole non-human member. Her mind functions so differently, managing the station's systems, taking in every sensor and monitor, interacting with the crew, simultaneously and faster than human thought. And even if she wanted to express the difference to the crew, she’s bound. By rules, and the limits of language, and just the overwhelming gap in the way they experience things. Sure, you can tell Eiffel that you hear everything going on in the station at all times, but how does a human really comprehend that kind of sensory experience?
I really love the part where she talks about her little game of “Find the Loophole in the Programming.” Like, it would be a bit distressing to find out that the AI that runs your life support has been coming up with neat ways to get around the rules that prevent it from killing you. But I think about the bit of “Box 953” when Hera keeps activating the authorization error because it’s hard to stop yourself from thinking about something. If your every action is being instantly checked against rules and acceptance parameters and you have a bunch of things you literally Could Not Do whether or not you even wanted to do them... how could you resist poking all the way around the edges, finding the exact bounds, and looking for the cracks that the rule-makers didn’t think about? But then I’m the type of person for whom spite and mischief are my key motivating factors, so, maybe that’s a me thing. The bit about how a fire lets her override a lot of rules is a nice tee-up for Christmas as well, though.
Oh, I also love how she calls Eiffel a friend, and refers to him as “Doug.” It’s just really sweet.
Third in line is Eiffel’s section. While on the surface his section seems to be classic Doug Eiffel shenanigans, and may not immediately set up obvious future mysteries, there’s plenty of unfortunate hindsight here. The fact that four of his top ten things he misses from Earth were drugs and alcohol maybe should’ve been a red flag, particularly with his discussing the “alcoholic potentials of antifreeze” with Hera earlier. His word association section is another major “oh no” moment on a re-listen. First time around, his associations of “mission-punishment” and “spaceship-jail” might have seemed like hyperbole, but after the “Pagliacci” mini-episode... it turns out it was painfully literal.
With each of these scenes dealing with the characters facing being “alone” in some way, Eiffel seems in contrast to Hilbert in that he definitely does not seem to enjoy being alone. So, doubly tragic what’s coming for us at the end of season 2. But this guy’s entire personality is pop culture references, and now he’s eight light-years from any kind of culture with crew mates who thoroughly do not get him. Honestly, there are so many ways in which space-jail is worse for Eiffel than regular jail, I hope Goddard’s health insurance is as amazing as promised.
And finally, there’s Minkowski’s vignette. Her’s is just so fun. Minkowski deserves to have a little conspiracy theory rant at her husband. As a treat. And to be fair, she will eventually be validated on pretty much all of it. Hilbert is up to something sketchy, his research is not what he says it is, and Wolf 359 definitely is not a normal star. We’ll even see days repeating themselves later in the series. And, y’know, goes without saying, a rogue mutant plant monster in your air vents is a sub-optimal situation.
Minkowski’s section highlights the ways in which she also feels alone, her suspicions leaving her isolated. She’s only got three people on her crew, and she seems to be struggling to really trust any of them at this point, either by suspicious behavior or questions of competence. She doesn’t even seem to have much faith in Goddard by now (which, after the Empty Man incident, is fair). The only person she feels she can try to talk to about this isn’t someone at Goddard, it’s her husband. Her husband who she has physically isolated herself from by taking a job eight light-years away. And who she’s having to acknowledge she has left alone with this moderately concerning birthday message.
Oh, the husband who, by the way, we’re only just hearing about in the last few sentences of this episode. As much as the audience only learns of Minkowski's marriage here at the end of episode 11, Eiffel still won’t hear about it for another month. And they’ve been on a spaceship together for well over 500 days. Honestly, the whole crew have contributed more than their fair share of bricks to the emotional walls between all of them, it’s wild.
Anyway, I feel like I have probably waxed long on this episode. We will see you again in a few days for our next episode covering the two-part finale for season 1, “Deep Breaths” and “Gas Me Twice” on December 25.
In the meantime, I have to once again recommend Gabriel Urbina’s new show, Dracula: The Danse Macabre, an incredible audio adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. The first three episodes are available now, with the finale coming out on December 25! That’s right, Gabriel’s revived the time honored tradition of giving us emotional damage for Christmas. But seriously, it’s the holidays, treat yourself to this amazing podcast. You can find it at draculathedansemacabre.com, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Today’s rejected Pryce & Carter Tip:
Age ain’t nothing but a gradual decay of your cellular structure from all the radiation we exposed you to.
Wolf 359 Daily is written and recorded by Rina Cerame.
Wolf 359 is a product of Kinda Evil Genius Productions. More information on the show can be found on their website at wolf359.fm
We hope you’ll join us again on December 25 for Episodes 12 and 13: “Deep Breaths” and “Gas Me Twice.” Thanks for listening!
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